Friday, January 31, 2014

Preschool at Home: Paintbrush Tip

The unusually cold weather we've had these past couple days has given Savannah a great opportunity to play with a lot of things around the house. She's recently gotten back into painting a lot. The other day she wanted to paint a picture of her brother. Since he wouldn't cooperate and sit still (imagine that for a second, haha) I happily filled in as her model.

Here's my tip for the day. Normally after she paints I soak her brushes in a cup and then I wash them later when I'm cleaning the kitchen. Today when she was done painting I couldn't find my 'soak' cup. Pretty sure I probably threw it away. So I grabbed a set of popsicle molds. I put a brush in each mold with it's own water and cleaning solution. This was just so much cuter to look at during the day, haha...

The popsicle molds are so inexpensive I can always buy another set. The molds work well for paint sponges too. I noticed during the day that the water didn't get all gross the way it normally does in a cup too. What do you think of this idea? Does your child's paintbrushes get nasty like Savannah's?

Thursday, January 30, 2014

What I Hate about SAHMs...

Before anyone emails me this post is not really about what I hate about SAHMs. It's more about what I hate about the ideas and stereotypes that are associated with this job. I just finished reading a very popular blog post where a woman is talking about remembering your spouse after you become a Mom. Nice. I'm all for that.

Then she said something that as a SAHM I hate to hear or see. She mentioned something about not having had a bath in days and being covered in baby food, poo and anything else that babies tend to leave around to mark their territories. Can I just say that I hate hearing women say that? That they haven't bathed in days. I always secretly hope that that's an over exaggeration. I mean. I'm just as busy as the next Mama. I barely get any sleep at night and yes my chores get piled up just like you. But. You can best believe before I climb into bed and snuggle up next to my husband that I do not smell like baby vomit or baby poop or spoiled breast milk.

That's just not sexy. And while this job isn't one that I would describe as sexy I still like to give my husband the illusion that I've 'got this'. Even though that's not true everyday and somedays it may be an out right lie. Call me crazy but that's how I escape from it all. By taking a bath and feeling pretty. That makes me feel like Tia and not Sav's Mama or BabyM's pacifier.

It makes me feel like someone's wife. Even if it's only for a few hours I get to be something other than a Mom. So. Please SAHMs of America please stop telling people (even if it's true) that you haven't been able to bathe in days. I'm not sure how that's even possible but please let's stop putting that out into the world. That SAHMs are women who are overwhelmed (which is true, I've been there), messy, frumpy women who have no life outside of their children. Even if it's true (and sometimes it is) can we all agree to stop putting that image out into the world?

Some days I do look like a beat down mess and I am tired. What I won't do is project that tired energy on to the people around me or my husband. (who, by the way, is tired too)

Sometimes we force the stereotypes on ourselves. There will be a follow up to this post. Leave your comments below.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Mommy Makeover Hair Inspiration

We have been stuck inside for the past two days due to the frigid temps. I feel so bad for all of the people in Atlanta and Birmingham that were literally stuck in their cars, work or school over night. My Dad was one of the people out there sitting somewhere on 285 and I-75. So glad he made it home okay. It only took him 12 hours to get home. Someone needs to do better planning for the next winter storm.


Being at home has given me a little time to think about what type of hair color I'm going for. Remember I have three bundles of Peruvian loose wave hair that I'll be getting installed on Saturday. I'm so excited for a new look.

I initially fell in love with Cynthia Bailey's hair color on RHOA…

But then as I searched the wonderful world wide web I started to see more versions of the ombre trend that were pretty…

So what do you think? Is the ombre trend had its moment or is it good to go for another season?

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Human Pacifier

Last night it occurred to me that I have become a human pacifier. Not all day though. Just from two AM until about five in the morning. Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice? I don't know when it happened or how it happened but lately sleep around here has been hard to get. Following in his sister's footsteps, I am now in another sleepless stage. Not complaining. Just catching you up on where I'm at with BabyM.

I would like to attribute his night waking to his teeth. He's teething now and that could be causing him some discomfort. Sometimes I think that he could be looking for me during that time. More often than I would like to admit I fall asleep while nursing him during those hours. It's possible that he's grown accustom to being with me so he wakes up to call for me.

Either way.

It's time to actually sleep train before it get's worse. I haven't really had to sleep train him up till this point so I hope it goes okay. I can't keep going night after night without adequate rest. He needs his sleep too. Savannah didn't stop night waking until I stopped breastfeeding. I wonder if that will be the case this time?

He's not really waking up a lot but he's incredibly restless and in a wakeful sleep state from two to five. Every night. I've got to figure out something soon. I gave up Dr.Pepper so I don't even have caffeine to help push me through the day. What's a Mom to do? Anyone else go through this? How long did it take you to get your baby back on a good sleeping schedule?

Monday, January 27, 2014

Make a List of MUST and Maybe's

Today I wanted to share something that I have found to be extremely helpful. Sometimes I find myself running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. At the end of the day I know I've done a lot but I can't really remember exactly what I did. Not fun. Or fair. Especially since I'm the type of person that likes to have that sense of accomplishment at the end of each day.

Since I've pretty much ruled out being able to do it all everyday I came up with a solution that gives me the best of both worlds. The Musts and the Maybes. Everyday I make a list of five things that I must do during the day. Then I make a list of five things that maybe I'll do if I have the time or the energy. 

I like the idea of a list of five because it's not overwhelming and it still leaves plenty of time for play with my kids. Sometimes I'm able to knock out a few things while BabyM naps and Savannah does an activity in her workbook or plays independently. So. Instead of giving myself a long laundry list of things that I know I can't accomplish in 24 hours (because let's face it -- I clock out at 8 unless someone is crying, bleeding or really needs their Mommy) I stick with a list of must-dos and maybe-dos.

What do you think? Does making a list of 5 must and maybes sound helpful?

Feel free to print or download your own list of 'Musts & Maybes', it's FREE!

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Mommy Mic Check

I came across this hilarious video while going through my FB newsfeed. It is beyond funny!

This is something I would do in real life. Except it wouldn't be made into a music video. We freestyle songs all the time around here. Kind of like how the Braxton Sisters do but our's are normally child related. Hope you enjoyed this video. Have a great weekend!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Preschool at Home: Upcoming Review

I have exciting news to share!

Savannah and I have been invited to review K5 learning! As you know, I've been working with her to build strong reading and math skills. I'm excited for the opportunity to review this online program. Her literacy skills are really growing so this could not have come at a better time. To be honest, I'm hoping it will help us get a better handle on where she is with math and numbers. I'm not a math person so I am looking forward to utilizing another resource to help us.

Stay tuned for the review coming soon!

K5 Learning has an online reading and math program for kindergarten to grade 5 students. I've been given a 6 week free trial to test and write a review of their program. If you are a blogger, you may want to check out their open invitation to write an online learning review of their program.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Approaching 30

I've been talking a lot lately about my thirtieth birthday. Also known as my Flirty30. I've also been reading a lot about people turning 30. As it turns out many of my blogger friends are also turning the big 3-0 this year (or they already have). My real life BFF turns 30 the week before I do. We were born exactly one week apart. In all these talks and blog posts about 30 I have noticed one common theme…

Thirty is all about "getting your life". That means something different to everyone. For me it means coming into my own. I am so excited about crossing over and leaving my twenties behind. My twenties were so good to me. Graduated school, got married (not in that order lol), worked at some great places, lived in some great places and I had the pleasure of becoming a mother.

My twenties flew by. I'm not really sure that I enjoyed them the way that I should have. I was too focused on making money, learning about what it meant to be married and finding my stride as a Mom. Now that all of that is behind me I am looking forward to getting back to knowing myself again. It won't be easy but in my 30s I am going to make time for myself. Instead of wishing I was doing more of something I'm just going to do it.

I'm going to relax more. Spend more time with my girlfriends. Not stress out over every little thing with these kids. In my 30s I'm going to be more okay with treating myself every now and then. I'm going to believe my husband when he says I am capable of going after my dreams.

I have never been so excited about a birthday before. I'm so ready.

What's been your biggest birthday so far?

Guest Blogger: Movies with great values for children

Movies with great values for children

These days, there are movies wherever kids go. And as a mother, it seems important to try and guide our children into watching the kind of movies that will help give them great values in life – but which are grounded and realistic about life’s downsides.

This isn’t about particularly encouraging children to watch more movies than they already do of course. Most kids these days watch too much “TV” of one sort or another whether it’s actual TV, DVDs, downloads, movies in the car, and the time-gobbling internet. Add into that mix smart phones and we, as parents, are very much swimming against the tide in trying to limit this stuff. I guess you already know that right!?

So what’s a mother to do? Well instead of trying to fight it – perhaps it’s better to go with the flow but guide their choices, particularly during the very early, most formative years.
A lot of recent movies for young children are a little sickly-sweet and patronizing – where no bad things really happen beyond the obvious setbacks that are all too obviously going to come right in the end.

Older movies are better in this regard. They have genuinely heart-breaking moments which are upsetting but which are part of real-life; scenes like Bambi’s mother being shot, or the young George Baily getting a clip round the ear in “It's a Wonderful Life”. These things happen but not in any modern movie – and that’s a mistake.

Or how about a young Elizabeth Taylor crying her eyes out in “National Velvet” when the Pie falls ill? Of course, she goes onto win the Grand National against all the odds. These days, people in the UK love a bet on the Grand National with because the odds are generally better as Betfair is an exchange with no bookmaker involved. But no-one wants to encourage children to gamble – but we do want them to develop real values that aren’t just sin-deep. So movies like “National Velvet”, “Bambi”, “It’s a Wonderful Life” and others help do that in a way that a lot of modern “pap” simply doesn’t.

*This is a sponsored post.*

Monday, January 20, 2014

Happy MLK Day

If you follow me on Instagram you might remember me sharing a pic of Savannah on set in front of a green screen. She was participating in a tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with the 264th Medical Battalion. I am sharing the video below. It came out great. Enjoy!

264th Medical Battalion Equal Opportunity MLK Observance 2014 from JOE MUSTANG on Vimeo.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

30th Birthday Countdown: Mommy Makeover

I'm not going to say that I have been looking slightly beat down lately. But…

Let's just say I am in need of a new look. Badly. That's where Vinuss Hair Extensions comes in to play.

I pulled a Britney in 2010 when I was pregnant with Savannah and cut all my hair off. Love that look. Then it grew out. Love love love my curls and natural hair. However. I was not prepared for the maintenance that's involved with natural hair. I found a hair regimen that worked well for my hair and it's grown out a lot.

Enter BabyM.

Now that I have two little crumb snatchers (whom I love dearly) vying for my attention I have less time to wash/co-wash, detangle, trim, twist, roll, blow out or straighten all this hair. I have tried to make time, but if you read this blog then you know these kids keep me very busy.

I promised myself that for my 30s (and especially my Flirty30) I was going to pull myself all the way together. So. In an effort to give myself a break from feeling bad about not having time to do my hair I will be getting a sew-in.

The nice people over at Vinuss were nice enough to send me three lovely bundles (16, 18, 20 inches) of 100% unprocessed virgin Peruvian loose wave hair. Their customer service is excellent and their prices are even better.

My hair arrived individually bagged and labeled. Each bundle was packaged in a hair net. The first two bundles in the pic below are still in their net. I removed the net from the last bundle so that you could see the difference.

Here is an up close pic of the ends of the 20 inch bundle. Super smooth. Very shiny. 

Here is a picture showing the wave pattern. The hair is so soft. I'm beyond excited for my install in a couple weeks. I plan to have it dyed a golden blond. I'll be going for the color that Cynthia is currently wearing on RHOA. I am obsessed with her ombre color.

I'll be posting my new look very soon. Thinking about changing up your look using hair extensions? Do yourself a favor and visit Vinuss.  Their prices are perfect for a Mommy on a budget. You can thank me later.

When was the last time you changed your look?

*I was provided with product in exchange for this post. All opinions expressed are my own.*

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Army Wife Life: Being Homesick

Today I am going to share something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. Some of you might know, but for those that don't, I am an Army Wife. I rarely ever talk about the military here. There's really not much to say. My husband has been in for almost nine years. I have really enjoyed this lifestyle for the most part. Moving constantly is kind of rough but it's also very exciting and you get somewhat use to the adventure.

Up until now I've never really been homesick. We have always been blessed enough to be stationed in driving distance to family. Living this far away from the people that really know you and get you is tough sometimes. Sometimes I just want to meet a friend for lunch without it being a scheduled "date". I just miss the feeling of having friends that are like family. The easiness of that relationship.


Before any military spouses start attacking me about "getting out there" and "meeting people" I just want to say that I am out there and I have met people. I've met a couple great people who I know will be lifelong friends and I've met some people that I wish I hadn't. As an Army Wife I feel like I'm constantly in that "getting to know you" stage of friendships. I have learned that it's a double edge sword. I can either dive right in and become "instant friends" with someone. (which isn't my preference) Or I can take my time getting to know people. The only problem with that is by the time you really become great friends it's time to move again. It sucks.

Anyway. I know I'm not the only Army Wife that feels this way. We have our good days and our bad days. If it wasn't for the few friends that I do have here I'd probably be counting down the days until we move again. Hopefully this post wasn't too all over the place. Does anyone get where I'm coming from?

Monday, January 13, 2014

Preschool at Home: Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

We are half way thru with January. Can't believe it. Savannah and I have been working really hard on sight words and reading. We live in walking distance to the library and we go there often to check out books or rent Wii games.

For this particular trip I wanted to focus on finding books that talked about Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr. Our library had a few books to choose from and we chose the three below. I have enjoyed reading these to her and introducing to her some of the facts about our nation's history.

Since we had been reading so much about MLK's vision I thought it would be fun to help Savannah make a vision board, but on a smaller Pre-K level. I started by getting some of her painting paper and my letter stencils.

Then I just asked her what her dreams were. I wrote them down in the color of her choice. As you can see, this activity had very little to do with her learning to write or cut. This activity was all about teaching her to recognize her dreams.

I thought she came up with some pretty good dreams for a three year old. I asked her simple questions like, "If you could learn anything what would it be? and " What do you want to be when you grow up?". I think it will be fun to do this with her every year at this same time and save them. When BabyM is old enough he'll do it too.

I plan to stencil her name at the bottom between the stars. I wanted to get this post up before it got too late. So. What do you think? How will you observe MLK Day with your little one? I know someone is out there thinking that this maybe too much for a three year old. So. I'll share something with you that I told a friend earlier today…

Friday, January 10, 2014

30th Birthday Countdown: Airport Attire

I originally planned this post to share an idea that I had for an airport outfit. I always like to be comfortable while I'm traveling. It's so much walking and sometimes rushing that I'm not normally decked out in an airport. So. I was originally planning to wear the outfit you see below. That was before we switched our flight time.

Now that we'll have to be up and out before it's cute to be up and out I don't know what I'll look like, LOL! Cause honestly five AM doesn't look good on anybody. Anyway. Should I decide to not wear sweatpants this is what I'll probably be wearing. (But no. Really. I'll probably have on some cute sweats that early. Judge if you must…)

Airport Ready style mom fashion

Airport Ready by thechicsahm featuring blue jackets

If we weren't going so early I was thinking of wearing something like this below. My grey sweater coat is much cuter (if I do say so myself *in my Jay-Z voice*) than the one here. I like this look. Very cute and casual. The heels might be a stretch that early in the morning. We'll see how I'm feeling when I wake up…

Airport Ready fashion style mom

Airport Ready by thechicsahm featuring hobo handbags

What do you wear on travel day? Do you try to do it up or do you rock sweats and sneakers?

Monday, January 6, 2014

Thought Bubbles...

I had lunch with a girlfriend today. It was so good to laugh and have girlfriend time…

We ate at Panera. I got the Greek Salad with Shrimp. It was bangin…

BabyM slept for 12 hours straight on New Year's Eve. Every night since then he has been up all night. He's my real, "We be all night…" (that's a Beyonce a song)

I keep saying I'm going to start using my grown up camera for the blog. One day I'm going to actually do it…

Recently I decided that I prefer mustard greens over collard greens…

I think I'm going to start getting Glamour magazine again. They mailed me an offer I can't refuse…

Or maybe it was the begging on the envelope that got me…

I have been working out. I can barely walk the stairs in my house. I cringe every time I have to make a trip carrying one of these kids…

It's gotten cold in Texas. I have become a hermit crab and I am secretly loving it…

I just remembered to track the shipping on an online clothing purchase. C'mon Thursday…

So glad that things are getting back to normal after the holidays…

Our fish Mr.Purple recently died. I wasn't sad. I was relieved to be free of bowl cleaning duties. Bad. I know…

Savannah 'made' me on the computer yesterday. Her replication of me was pretty spot on…

Currently watching Vanderpump Rules. I am always surprised when they say how old they are…

Someone mentioned to me that I should be taking bathing suits on our trip. That won't be happening…

I've been homesick a lot recently…

I want to try eyelashes for my Flirty30 but I don't want to look like a cheap baby doll when I blink…

I am contemplating getting a pair of Chuck Taylors. We shall see…

Only because they are the only shoe that I think will work with a dress I have during the cooler months…

My husband goes back to work in the morning. I'm just trying to figure out who's going to bring me the  breakfast I had grown accustomed to getting these past two weeks...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

30th Birthday Countdown: What I'm Wearing in Vegas

I have finally narrowed down my options for my trip to Vegas. I didn't want to spend a lot of money shopping before our trip. Mama wants to make sure she has money to spend in Vegas you know what I mean?

Just when I thought I was going to have buy one of the dresses I showed you before Jesus smiled down on me with a 50% off sale at Express. While checking out the sale I saw that they had restocked my initial birthday outfit that was previously sold out. So happy that I'll get to wear sequins on my birthday and it cost less than dinner for two at a Vegas buffet. Win.

Party Looks

Party Looks by thechicsahm featuring a blue dress

Now y'all know I love black. I have said that many many many times here on the blog. So it's no wonder that almost all of my night looks are black. I can't help it. To switch things up a bit I am taking this blue dress with me. It's cute, comfortable and it has an exposed back zipper which I love. I'll be pairing the leather skirt with a sheer black top. So cute and sexy. 

I have this whole strategy for packing and doing a carry-on bag. It can be done. (i hope) What do you think about these looks?

Quick Dinner Idea: Sofrito Shrimp Tacos

This is one of those dinner ideas that you accidentally stumble upon because you're tired of eating all of your normal meals. You're in the grocery store and you just grab things that you've heard people say a lot on the Food Newtork…Am I the only one that's done that? Maybe so.

This is a less than 30 minute (cook time) dinner. It is so good. When I say good I mean it's so good that there weren't any leftovers. Maybe we were hungry or greedy but it was banging.

So the first thing you'll want to do is season your shrimp with this...

This is the main ingredient for this Sofrito super fast tacos. I get the Goya brand. Cause you know, if it's Goya...

I use about 4 heaping teaspoons for a pound and a half of shrimp. You want it to look like this. Covered and smothered. Pop that in the fridge for about 20-30 minutes.

I then chopped my veggies.

And sautéed them with a little extra virgin olive oil, salt and pepper...

These are the tortillas we use. They are so good and good for you...

Here they are on my plate. (don't judge me. i needed all three of these.)

And folded up ready to meet their fate. Yum!! So easy and so fast. I topped them with some of my homemade salsa. That recipe is here...

Will you be making these? They are so good and so fast and easy to make. I can't say that enough, LOL! They are a little spicy if you add the salsa so keep that in mind when you plate for the little ones.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Ask Away Friday w/ Drea from So She Writes by Miss Dre

So excited to be kicking off the first Ask Away Friday of the year with the lovely Drea from So She Writes by Miss Dre. I love her blog and I've been following it for a long time. She writes about all things beauty, fashion and mommy hood. Love it. Her style, beauty and fashion sense is amazing. She also writes about music and will have you on iTunes spending all your spare change to create the perfect playlist.  I am always reminded about songs or albums I haven't listened to in a while after visiting her blog. 

As you know Ask Away Friday is a link-up hosted by Penny from The Real Housewife of Caroline County.

And here are Drea's questions for me...

1. Congrats to you and hubby celebrating 8 years of marriage! If you could give a newlywed woman a bit of marital advice, what would it be?

Gee. I would tell her to make sure she has a life full of hobbies and friends outside of her marriage, keep family and friends out of the personal aspects of her marriage and let your man be a man. And remember teamwork makes the dream work!

2. What TV couple (past or present) remind you most of you and your husband? Why?

I would say it's a tie between Martin and Gina and Dwayne Wayne and Whitley Gilbert. We have that comedic chemistry that Martin and Gina have but at the same time we're still very much like the college kids who met years ago. Just smarter.

One of my favorite episodes of Martin...

3. Savannah and MJ have a sitter for the night, so at the spur of the moment you and hubby now have a date night. What are you wearing? What color lips are you rocking? How are you wearing your hair?

Hmmm. At the spur of the moment I'd probably reach for my go-to best fitting jeans, a sheer loose fitting black blouse, either black heels or booties and gold hoop ear rings. I'd without a doubt have a red lip and my hair would probably be either in a top knot if my hair happens to be straight or in a wash n go if it's curly.

4. I always ask this question: If your life had a soundtrack, what would be the top three songs?

Right now I'm going to have to go with Beyonce's 'Grown Woman', Prince's 'Pop Life' and Sounds of Blackness 'Black Butterfly'. There are so many songs that make up the soundtrack to my life but those are the first three that come to mind.

5. Tell me one thing about yourself you've never shared on your blog.

Something that I haven't shared here is that in the fourth grade I broke my femur bone and I was in a body cast for the whole school year. I had to be home schooled. Luckily, my fourth grade teacher, Ms. Jane Timmerman, volunteered to come to my house everyday after school to teach me. I will never forget that. 

6. What are three wardrobe staples you feel every Chic SAHM should own?

A great pair of jeans that fit perfect, a nice white blouse and leopard flats. (Leopard flats go with literally everything.)

7. Last week we talked briefly about "Flirty30" and checking out Vegas. What is one thing you would like to do or accomplish before turning 30?

Gee. Since I turn 30 next month…I think one thing I'd like to accomplish is making the gym/working out a part of my regular routine. If I can do that I'll be pretty happy with myself.

8. You talk about fitness and being a part of #TeamSnapBack often here. What motivates you to keep working out-- even on the days you just don't "feel" like it?

Honestly. The fact that I plan to wear a leather mini skirt next month motivates me. Cause less face it…That mini skirt is still going to be a mini whether I'm a mini or not. 

9. I smiled when I saw you were a Carolina girl, too. When you were here, where were your favorite places to shop and dine?

I am from Charlotte. Almost all of the malls in Charlotte were pretty decent. The city has grown so much since I last lived there. Some of my favorite places to eat don't even exist anymore but just in case I have some QC residents reading this I loved Pancho & Lefty's and Midtown Sundries.

10. I read on your blog that the four years you spent in DC really shaped you to become "your true self." What is the greatest life lesson you learned while out in the District?

The greatest thing that I learned there is to be yourself. I got to meet and work with people from all over the world there. It was great and I'm still really good friends with many of them. DC taught me to be open to new opportunities and to always hustle hard for the things I want. I might be a stay at home mom now but I still have a hustler's spirit.

I had a great time swapping questions with Drea. Be sure to stop by her blog to see the questions that I had for her!

The Mommy Olympics

Can I just say that motherhood and parenting is not a competition. It's not a sport. You're not going to get a trophy or a prize when you're child meets certain milestones, goes off to college or turns out to be a stand up human being. I'll double check with my Mom but I am pretty sure she hasn't received any kind of award for being a great Mother. (other than the sheer joy of seeing how awesome me and my brothers are)

You would think that just seeing your child do well would be enough of a 'prize'. The gratification and the unconditional love you receive from your child should be all the praise one needs for being a good parent. But nope. Some of these Moms out here need to know that their child is best and first. Your child started sitting up before mine? That's nice. Your child started sleeping through the night before mine? That's great. Annnnd guess what?

I don't care. All children grow and change in their own time.

I am not in competition with any other Mom. None of us are. The best thing we can all do for ourselves  is to stay in our own lane with our own kids. Focus on what's going on with your own children. Someone else's kid may be 'doing more' than your child. Their child might be 'more behaved' but focusing on that does absolutely nothing for me or my kids.

So. The next time any of us find ourselves comparing the parenting, development or behavior of another to our own let's remember…this is not (ain't) the olympics. She's not going to get a gold medal for what she's doing with her kids and you're not going to get a bronze medal for what you're doing with yours.

There is no first, second or third place.

I am not in competition with her. She's not in competition with me.

It's not like any of us will be getting rated or evaluated for a possible promotion so stop competing with that woman.

This is not a race. There is no finish line. There are no trophies or medals. She is not winning. You are not losing.