The first time I noticed the "Real Mom" conversation happening was right after the birth of the royal family's newest baby. When Princess Kate stepped out on the sidewalk looking like she just came from Sunday school the Mommysphere went crazy. First came the sweet congrats and then came the, "Real Moms don't look like that after giving birth" comments.
I thought she looked amazing and I even made a joke about it on my blog's FB page. I personally look like a cross between death and being hungover after birth. That has nothing to do with Kate though. It's her job to present herself a certain way and she does it well.
If you do enough googling you can actually see women commenting on FB with their post birth photos of what "Real Moms" look like. Are you effing kidding me?! Like. Really? Is it that serious? Don't get me wrong, I get it what you're mission is. You want to prove that motherhood is not as glamorous as some lead others to believe it is. I get it. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe that's not everyone's reality?
Motherhood looks different for all of us. This particular article showcasing the new face of Motherhood got drug through the mud on just about every platform I saw it posted on. Could it have been more of a diverse article? Sure. Did I roll my eyes while reading it? Maybe. But again, I can not knock what feels natural to another Mother. If it feels "real" to her to dress up in cute outfits everyday and share the laid back fun moments of Motherhood on Instagram who am I to judge her? We all know that Motherhood is more than that. My question is, why do we consistently judge one another and proclaim to know what the makeup of a "Real Mom" is?
I actually feel bad for women who get offended by what they read and see. I hope they know that they are enough and that you're a real Mom despite what all the articles, blogs and comments say.
If you breast feed you're a real Mom. If you bottle feed you're a real Mom. Are you a working Mom? You're a real Mom. Stay at home with your kids? Real Mom. Do you homeschool your kids? You're a real Mom. If your kids go to public or private school, you're a real Mom. If they ride the bus to school, you're a real Mom. Are you having a tough time losing your baby weight? You're a real Mom. You can still fit into your jeans from high school? Real Mom!
With or without stretch marks you're a real Mom. With or without abs you're a real Mom. If you have to use the drive thru a couple times a week to feed your family don't beat yourself up, you're a real Mom. Are you a regular at the farmer's market and Whole Foods? You're a real Mom.
It doesn't matter if you had an all natural vaginal birth or a scheduled c-section, you're a real Mom.
See where I'm going with this? Please let's stop with the "Real Moms look like, or have...", because the reality is that we are all doing the very best that we can. All of our realities are different. Motherhood looks different on everyone because everyone doesn't have the same story, journey and let's face it, resources.
Don't hate on another woman's story or journey because it looks different than your own. Her parenting decisions have nothing to do with your kids. All of our kids are crazy. (Really? You've never said your kids were crazy?) How she looks at play dates has nothing to do with who you are or who she is as a Mother. It certainly has nothing to do with how either of you are raising your children and how they'll turn out.
We're all real Moms. We're all tired and figuring it out as we go. Celebrate the differences you see in someone else's journey ("Good for her"normally works for me) and don't forget to embrace what's amazing about your own.